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Tuesday, 9 March 2010, 11:25:00 pm
hurt.
it hurts really bad right now.and tears just cant seem to make it right.i miss him. i waited for him to call me since morning but he did not. but i understand and not the slightest angry at him cause he did make the effort to text me once in a while. i text him back that i miss him. i text him that for 3 times today. cause i really do miss him. he did not say the usual 'i miss u too' which is fine as i understand he must be busy working. i told myself not to follow my feelings although my heart keep saying that he did not miss me at all. but i throw that thought away as i want to change. i do not want to be that emotional girlfren who follows her feelings and make rash decision.i said to him yesterday that i am going to change. for the better. i will make him the happiest man in the world. I will not make him sad, angry or disappointed. i will listen to all his rantings and complaints and not say a thing. i will be there for him although he might not have all the time for me. i vow to prove myself to him.and today when he finally end work at 8. he called me. but i wasnt there to pick up. i called him back at 930. longing to hear his voice and hear those words. but instead i was scolded.aku kau. aku kau. ape nak jadi dengan kau. it just breaks my heart. i could really feel it in me. the hurt. that pain which you could not describe in words.i wanted to stay true to my promise and not to succumb to my emotions and feelings. but i just could not. i was too hurt. and thats the end of today.im really hearbroken at how things end up and how today ended....
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Tuesday, 9 March 2010, 11:25:00 pm
hurt.
it hurts really bad right now.and tears just cant seem to make it right.i miss him. i waited for him to call me since morning but he did not. but i understand and not the slightest angry at him cause he did make the effort to text me once in a while. i text him back that i miss him. i text him that for 3 times today. cause i really do miss him. he did not say the usual 'i miss u too' which is fine as i understand he must be busy working. i told myself not to follow my feelings although my heart keep saying that he did not miss me at all. but i throw that thought away as i want to change. i do not want to be that emotional girlfren who follows her feelings and make rash decision.i said to him yesterday that i am going to change. for the better. i will make him the happiest man in the world. I will not make him sad, angry or disappointed. i will listen to all his rantings and complaints and not say a thing. i will be there for him although he might not have all the time for me. i vow to prove myself to him.and today when he finally end work at 8. he called me. but i wasnt there to pick up. i called him back at 930. longing to hear his voice and hear those words. but instead i was scolded.aku kau. aku kau. ape nak jadi dengan kau. it just breaks my heart. i could really feel it in me. the hurt. that pain which you could not describe in words.i wanted to stay true to my promise and not to succumb to my emotions and feelings. but i just could not. i was too hurt. and thats the end of today.im really hearbroken at how things end up and how today ended....
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